1. Why do you want to marry each other?

"Because I love him/her" is not a sufficient answer since love alone will not make your marriage a success. A healthy marriage comes from, mutual respect, as well as compatibility, among other things. Be specific about what about this person makes him/her different from anyone else. Saying things like, "She is very compassionate" or "He is generous" speaks to each other's qualities and your values.

2. Is physical perfection or disability an issue?

If you are normal, would you marry a man who has a slight limp? Or a scar on his body that is visible?

3. What are your similarities and common values?

Be specific when you answer this. Instead of saying, "We both value family", try to identify in what way you show that you value them. Examples include, "I believe that we should spend time with family once per week" or "We should never lie to family" etc.

4. How do you both prioritize career? Will both of you work outside the home?

Some people need to have a career outside of the marriage and family life and others would prefer otherwise. Some couples require both partners to work to maintain a certain level of finances. This will also come up if you have children in terms of identifying which parent will stay home with the children (and for how long) and who will continue to make money.

5. What will your lives look like 5, 10, 20 years down the road?

This can be a great way to bond with each other as you look into the future toward your joint life together. It's also a way to see what you both expect and hope from your marriage and to see if how closely those visions match.

6. Is baldness an issue?

If he is ideal otherwise, would you reject him on account of the number of strands of hair on his pate?

Of course, corollaries to each of these questions could be asked to a young man too but we are discussing here the conditions to considered by young women.

7. What is your relationship like with your family?

This can help you understand how to best fit in with your future in-laws and also identify any potential sources of conflict with in-laws. For some South Asian men, choosing between their mother and their wife can be a source of serious conflict with newlywed couples. It is important to discuss how the relationship with each of your families will change after marriage.

8. Are you comfortable with the way your partner expresses feelings?

Do you feel safe with the way your partner expresses anger? Do you feel satisfied with the way your partner expresses his/her needs? Couples must to develop a common language to communicate how they feel, what they think and what they need. If you ever have felt unsafe around your partner when they've expressed any emotion, it is crucial that you seek professional help immediately so you both learn how to express feelings in a healthy manner.

9. Is level of education an issue?

If you are a post graduate, would you be willing to marry a graduate? If you hold a degree in engineering (say), would you agree to marry a diploma holder?

10. Where do you imagine spending the bulk of our money?

Some people prioritize vacations or eating out, others wish to invest in property, and yet others may be very low spenders and would prefer to save as much as possible. Be sure you have a common vision about where most of your money will go, even if you decide not to combine finances.

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