1. Why do you want to marry each other?
"Because I love him/her" is not a sufficient answer since love alone will not make your marriage a success. A healthy marriage comes from, mutual respect, as well as compatibility, among other things. Be specific about what about this person makes him/her different from anyone else. Saying things like, "She is very compassionate" or "He is generous" speaks to each other's qualities and your values.
2. Is physical perfection or disability an issue?
If you are normal, would you marry a man who has a slight limp? Or a scar on his body that is visible?
3. What are your similarities and common values?
Be specific when you answer this. Instead of saying, "We both value family", try to identify in what way you show that you value them. Examples include, "I believe that we should spend time with family once per week" or "We should never lie to family" etc.
4. How do you both prioritize career? Will both of you work outside the home?
Some people need to have a career outside of the marriage and family life and others would prefer otherwise. Some couples require both partners to work to maintain a certain level of finances. This will also come up if you have children in terms of identifying which parent will stay home with the children (and for how long) and who will continue to make money.
5. What will your lives look like 5, 10, 20 years down the road?
This can be a great way to bond with each other as you look into the future toward your joint life together. It's also a way to see what you both expect and hope from your marriage and to see if how closely those visions match.
If he is ideal otherwise, would you reject him on account of the number of strands of hair on his pate?
Of course, corollaries to each of these questions could be asked to a young man too but we are discussing here the conditions to considered by young women.
7. What is your relationship like with your family?
This can help you understand how to best fit in with your future in-laws and also identify any potential sources of conflict with in-laws. For some South Asian men, choosing between their mother and their wife can be a source of serious conflict with newlywed couples. It is important to discuss how the relationship with each of your families will change after marriage.
8. Are you comfortable with the way your partner expresses feelings?
Do you feel safe with the way your partner expresses anger? Do you feel satisfied with the way your partner expresses his/her needs? Couples must to develop a common language to communicate how they feel, what they think and what they need. If you ever have felt unsafe around your partner when they've expressed any emotion, it is crucial that you seek professional help immediately so you both learn how to express feelings in a healthy manner.
9. Is level of education an issue?
If you are a post graduate, would you be willing to marry a graduate? If you hold a degree in engineering (say), would you agree to marry a diploma holder?
10. Where do you imagine spending the bulk of our money?
Some people prioritize vacations or eating out, others wish to invest in property, and yet others may be very low spenders and would prefer to save as much as possible. Be sure you have a common vision about where most of your money will go, even if you decide not to combine finances.
11. How many children will the couple have?
Will the man or his parents insist on the woman going on having babies till a male offspring arrives?
This "ghar ka chiraag" and "vaaris" or "khaandaan ka naam aage le jaana" nonsense must stop. Let this be frankly discussed. I recommend, two children and no more, irrespective of the sex of the children.
12. How do each of you approach talking about serious or uncomfortable topics?
If you have been dating for a while, you may know a little about how your partner communicates. But asking this question forces you both to have a direct conversation about what you both need to talk about serious topics. For example, one of you may need to hold hands while you talk so you are reassured that the other still cares or one of you may prefer to talk while you're engaged in an activity such as walking or hiking. Do your relationship a favor by talking about it so that you don't have to learn as much by trial and error.
13. If the religions are different, will either be forced to convert?
This is particularly relevant if either party is a Muslim. I believe the community will insist on conversion of the girl to Islam if the boy is a Muslim. I am not sure if they will insist on the boy's conversion if the girl is a Muslim. What religion will the children profess? This is a complex issue and had better be sorted out right in the beginning.
14. What are your opinions about premarital sex, birth control, abortion and divorce?
These hot topics are often ones that often get ignored but have serious and day-to-day implications for your marriage. Be sure you understand each other's values about these important issues without judgment.
15. How many sisters/brothers does the other party have?
If either is the only son/daughter will the other party realize that the entire burden of supporting the parents/in-laws (even if not financially, but emotionally and socially) fall on the couple? There may not be any one else to share the burden when the parents grow old. This is important.
I have known men who have refused to marry girls who have no brothers, fearing that the in laws will become a burden later on in life. Even if the man is willing, his parents may put a spoke.
Likewise I have also known girls who want their husbands to have brothers and/or sisters to share her future burden.
The couple tries to balance with this with another future benefit, viz inheritance. If he/she bears the burden alone, will he/she also reap the inheritance advantage alone?
16. When your parents experienced conflict with each other, how did they handle it?
This is a very important question, as we tend to act more like our parents than we would like to admit. Thus, the strengths and weaknesses that came from their communication style will most likely appear in your new marriage. Identify what your model was like growing up to help identify what your default communication style might be.
Find out about her social life, her favourite pastime and her other interests. This way you can get to know whether she is an extrovert or an introvert. Such small details can actually help you in deciphering whether she is 'your kind' of a girl or not! Do not go overboard with too many questions, as she is not a candidate whom you are interviewing for your wife's position. You are looking for a life partner who should be compatible with you and your family.
18. Do you believe that there are roles a person has in a marriage because of their gender?
Although we are in the 21st century, South Asian men and women can still have some traditional values when it comes to gender roles. Know what your partner expects of you and work out any differences by compromising on how roles will be split.
19. Ask about her duties towards her parents?
Maybe this question is a big thing to ask for the very first meeting, but it will certainly clear some doubts you might have. It will help you to understand, if she has any financial responsibilities towards her parents, which she would like to fulfil even after marriage, just like you.
20. describe the abilities you have in order to work with us as marriage and family therapist?
I have the ability to listen to and understand information and ideas presented through spoken words and sentences, communicate information and ideas in speaking so others will understand, tell when something is wrong or is likely to go wrong. It does not involve solving the problem, only recognizing there is a problem, speak clearly so others can understand you, apply general rules to specific problems to produce answers that make sense.
21. Ask about her marriage expectations?
A girl would always like it if a guy asks her views on marriage and expectations related to it. So, if you are meeting a girl for the first time, ask her take on the institution of marriage. This is an important question, as it will help you understand her thought process better.
Giving full attention to what other people are saying, taking time to understand the points being made, asking questions as appropriate, and not interrupting at inappropriate times, Being aware of others' reactions and understanding why they react as they do, Considering the relative costs and benefits of potential actions to choose the most appropriate one, Actively looking for ways to help people, Talking to others to convey information effectively.
23. Don't agree to marriage after the first meeting?
Make sure that you have at least two or three good meetings before delivering the final decision.
24. How would you describe (needed marriage and family therapist or your) work style?
My work style matching exactlty what cashier job requires by: being sensitive to others' needs and feelings and being understanding and helpful on the job, being honest and ethical, accepting criticism and dealing calmly and effectively with high stress situations, being pleasant with others on the job and displaying a good-natured, cooperative attitude, being reliable, responsible, and dependable, and fulfilling obligations.
25. Be clear if you expect a girl to do a few duties?
If you have grand parents who are old and parents had been operated twice for health issues and you wanted a Housewife to take care of your parents do mention it. The same way how a girl take care of her parents and a mother take care of her child. Make such a thing clear.
Or will she be asked to discontinue? If she continues, who will bear the cost of the remaining education? The husband or the wife and her parents?
This has been an issue before. If the boy plans to study further or go abroad for studies, is he expecting his in laws to foot the bill?
Do not assume that everyone wishes to have children. Try to understand your partner's view point and value regarding children. This is also an important time to discuss whether there are any health concerns that might affect your ability to have children. For some people, the answer to this question can be a deal breaker for the relationship so it is crucial to talk about prior to a serious commitment.
One of the biggest mistakes young South Asian couples make is assuming that the other is of the same spiritual or religious upbringing. South Asian culture and religion is usually intertwined and thus many will celebrate South Asian holidays but may not necessarily be very religious (e.g. they celebrate Diwali but they don't pray on a daily basis or they don't believe in God). I Identify your religious or spiritual identity and then have a basic idea of both of your values regarding how to raise your children.
29. What is your medical history? Have you had surgery? Do you have any chronic medical illnesses?
To some people, caring for a person with chronic illness is not something that they want to do at so early in marriage. Others may also want to know what kind of genes their future children might have. Talk about your health, how you take care of yourself and see if you can combine both of your healthy life habits to encourage each other to live healthier.
30. Case Questions as Marriage Consultant:
No consulting interview would be complete without case interview questions that test a candidate's ability to think strategically about problems. Answering them is all about preparation (that's why you're at business school-and why there's no shortage of guides to help prepare) as well as a continuation of the approach for market sizing questions-make it a conversation, and explain every step of your thinking/process along the way. Again: showing that you can arrive at a solution after thoughtful questioning and analysis is far more important in these questions than being able to throw out a brilliant new strategy on the fly, so focus on the process, and allow it to lead you to a solution. Some examples:
► "Client X is deciding how best to enter a new market. They have a choice of buying an existing company, or developing the technology in-house. How would you think about advising them to make the best decision?"
► "How should a nuclear plant deal with waste products?"(Hint: the same person who submitted this question told us that the answer "involves heavy analytic calculation about the recycling of plutonium, various storage option with different cost structures, and recommendations taking into account various green initiatives and business risks.")
► "An online brokerage is growing well but can't seem to reach their profitability goals; what could be going on?"
► "You're discussing a contemplated divestiture with the CFO of a large corporation. What are some of the points you'd want to make in considering how our firm can potentially assist him or her? What key themes would you want to hit on?"
► "Your client is a Fortune 50 aerospace and defense company interested in entering adjacent markets through organic or inorganic expansion. Which markets should she enter and how?"
► "How would you go about advising a hypothetical client on commercializing a teleportation device that they have invented?"
► "Should I open Chick-Fil-A on Sunday?"
► "Should I put Wi-Fi on my airline?"
► "Our client is thinking of acquiring a company that makes a certain type of medical device; what do they need to consider in making their decision?"
► "Our client wants to enter the wine market; how should they go about doing so?"
31. Market Sizing/ Estimates Questions as Marriage Consultant:
Market sizing and estimation is a crucial skill in the consulting world, and is also something that is conveniently easy to test for in interviews. In fact, every single firm in the top 10-and a clear majority of the firms we survey every year-ask candidates to estimate the size of something, whether it's ice cream cones sold in Beijing in a day, or the potential market for electric cars in the United States. Regardless of what you're asked to figure out, you should always start by explaining your assumptions-population size, percentage of the population likely to use said product (and why you've settled on that percentage), and any other factors that are likely to have a significant effect on the estimate. Indeed, showing that you can logically approach the problem is far more important than whatever number you might eventually arrive at, so be sure to do the bulk of your reasoning out loud, and make the process a conversation with the interviewer, so that they can follow your thought process.
Here are some sample market sizing questions from this year's survey:
► "How many airplanes leave from Boston's Logan Airport on Monday?"
► "How many lightbulbs are there in Manhattan?"
► "What is the market size for a cancer diagnostic technology in the U.S.?"
► "How many passengers fly through LAX in a calendar year?"
32. Situational & Personal Questions as Marriage Consultant:
These are the standard questions that almost every professional in any walk of life will have to negotiate successfully if they're to find themselves getting a job offer. However, just because they're not specific to the consulting industry doesn't mean that you should take them lightly-tripping up on a question about your long-term career goals can do your application just as much harm as blowing the case interview portion. Some examples:
► "Please describe your most important leadership experience and the impact that you had as a leader."
► "Describe a problem that you would like to tackle at [this firm], why and how would you pursue it."
► "If I were to speak to your colleagues from your most recent internship (or friends in school), what would they say about you? What are the strengths and weaknesses they would share?"
► "Describe a situation where you failed. What did you learn about yourself and how did you change as a result?"
► "Why our firm instead of your current firm? What do you know about us compared to your firm?"
► "Tell me about a project that didn't go well and why and what you would do differently next time?"
► "How do you quantify a lead?"
► "Can you describe your brand?"
► "How have you dealt with low team morale in the past? Provide an example of when you had to give a bad performance review."
► "Describe a project which challenged you. Describe a client relationship which was challenging."
33. What are the main job duties and responsibilities of marriage and family therapist employee?
Marriage and family therapist responsibilities are to ask questions that will help clients identify their feelings and behaviors; confer with clients to develop plans for posttreatment activities; confer with other counselors, doctors, and professionals to analyze individual cases and to coordinate counseling services; counsel clients on concerns, such as unsatisfactory relationships, divorce and separation, child rearing, home management, and financial difficulties; determine whether clients should be counseled or referred to other specialists in such fields as medicine, psychiatry, and legal aid; encourage individuals and family members to develop and use skills and strategies for confronting their problems in a constructive manner; maintain case files that include activities, progress notes, evaluations, and recommendations; develop and implement individualized treatment plans addressing family relationship problems, destructive patterns of behavior, and other personal issues; collect information about clients, using techniques such as testing, interviewing, discussion, and observation; provide instructions to clients on how to obtain help with legal, financial, and other personal issues; follow up on results of counseling programs and clients' adjustments to determine effectiveness of programs; provide public education and consultation to other professionals or groups regarding counseling services, issues, and methods; gather information from doctors, schools, social workers, juvenile counselors, law enforcement personnel, and others to make recommendations to courts for resolution of child custody or visitation disputes; write evaluations of parents and children for use by courts deciding divorce and custody cases, testifying in court if necessary; supervise other counselors, social service staff, and assistants; provide family counseling and treatment services to inmates participating in substance abuse programs.
Please share your experience.
35. Qualities to be tested related Questions:
► can she have an intelligent conversation on heavy duty topics?
► is she fun loving? and humorous?
► is she strong minded in a good way; can she take care of you & give you emotional guidance?
► is she an optimist; can she push you; don't tell her that you're a pessimist
► attitude of the parents - over protective, narrow minded, anything else that stands out?
